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punishment one does not deserve

hey there,
why do you do this to yourself? 
why would you throw yourself out and act the fool? 
i ought to scald you 
i ought to scratch you 
keep fucking up.
i dare you. keep fucking up. 
but why....
why....
why...would you do this to yourself? 
have you no grace for yourself? 
have you no shame?
love yourself more...please
smile by yourself more 
why are always so lonely? 
is your loneliness infectious?
why do you spread your disease like a vermin
you pest.
colour yourself brown because that's what you ought to be 
a nobody. 
please...
please...
be nice to me
be kind to me
be good to me
why can't people just be kind???
why is the world such a horrible place?
i ought to burn you to death 
i ought to torture you until you feel every inch of pain I have felt all my life.
but...please be kind to me.
please be kind.
even if I'm not worthy.

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