Skip to main content

laziness and detachment

i couldn't get out of bed 
why am I so lazy? 
my family keeps calling me to get out of bed 
to do the chores and work around the house 
im aware of it but I cannot get out of bed 
for the umpteenth time, my mother, furious came up to my room 
and yet i still couldn't get out of bed 
i am lazy, I am worthless
i don't think about others and i only think about my own pleasure and vanity
perhaps it's true 
but I can't get out of bed
i just can't. 
mom, I am sorry you have such a lazy and useless daughter 
but I cannot get out of bed 
and I am sorry for it.
i am sorry for bringing you anger, pain and exhaustion as your daughter 
but I cannot get out of bed.
i try 
but not this morning, i cannot get out of the bed 
i hope you forgive me, when I can get out of the bed.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Champagne Flames and Crimson Roses

Lana Del Rey- Young and Beautiful Heavenly Father, if the road of life leads to heaven, let my lover pass through his beauty outshines this wicked world. His beauty glows, oh, it glows, like the last champagne light at the end of the party. His beauty endures as the world grows colder. And, Lord, let him be your angel, even if I am left to burn. His wings shadow the threshold of infinity. The smallest atoms of his being spill into me like holy wine, filling my soul with a redemption I will never deserve. His heart a crimson rose, opening, bleeding, a bloom that brings me to weeping. His hands, strong as steel, never rusting, yet they could shatter me like glass. And his kiss, oh Lord, his kiss burns my soul with the slow sweetness of damnation, as though my fate were already sealed in the fire that waits below. Such heavenly beauty drags me to the filthiest sins. His love, unending, makes me ache with unworthiness. like a moth unraveling in the flame, knowing I will perish, yet choosin...
Post a Comment
Read more

I Awoke from Morpheus

you glowed and bejeweled the moonflowers, poison filled with illusory hope and serenity. and we both embraced, and we both strangled each other. we burn— oh, we burn so brightly, dear one. and yet, we turned too bright, and thus, we cascade down. no valley of flowers, no iridescent moonlight. no light, no hope— we burned into ashes. there goes my Morpheus, and so shall I cease to be. maybe in another life, we could have been. yes, we could have been. once, the light of my life, now becoming no more than a mere shadow that existed yesterday. there you go, like a dandelion, twirling away like a false prophet to one’s dreams and wishes. if only you had known how fickle words could have been, as people grow— and outgrow them. and yet, we live on, tragically, with beauty and grace.
Post a Comment
Read more

Goat in Sheep’s Skin

I live my days in nuanced pathways going to and from what i expect myself to do, going back and forth within life, a contradicting pendulum that irrevocably pulls and fulfills me. at times, overwhelm pulls me and exhausts me, but i function, like i should in this society. but i am not a machine, i am not... however, i do what is expected of me. sometimes, thought washes over me of whether i am a person, like the person i once thought i should be. right now, i am simply exhausted. but i will wake up tomorrow and start over, because i have to, because i have to. am i normal, or do i practise normalcy? like a goat in sheep's skin, eating the same grass, walking the same pastures, and yet never really belonging, never attaching. i make no sense, do i? but yes, i function. i am functioning, just decently.
Post a Comment
Read more