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I have no eyes but I have to see


my tongue is tied
my mouth is sewn shut
my arms in a straitjacket
my eyes gouged out — yet still wanting to blink

to see / i wanna see / i have to see / i need to fucking see

with all the blood and flesh of my own mangled around me
i broke my arms out
my bones protruding and bleeding black hot blood
i pierced my mouth open —
blood, teeth and flesh flushed out

i do not speak — yet i scream
my tongue moves out of its binds
i scream and howl in pain
it hurts
it hurts
it hurts so much…

but i leaped across the room to the mirror
that damned, rugged mirror

and i saw a person whom i do not recognize
the person smiled with malice
full of evil, hatred, and disdain
her eyes leaked venom
her mouth opens and blood flows out of her mouth

she then whispered,
“my turn.”

i look on helplessly as she destroyed whom and what i love
please, stop it.
i beg and beg and beg

she smiled that rotten, filthy, and malevolent smile

i banged my hands on the mirror
again
and again…

shards stuck on me —
on my face, my arms, my body, my limbs, my heart

she didn’t want to go
she wants to stay

and at the end… perhaps i will let her

and that will be the day i slit my throat
and bleed red blood
as i choke to death

and then, that woman will linger on my loved one's minds and memories
forgetting me, falling into oblivion

she shall keep herself alive through the poison she inflicted
to whom she contaminated
to what she latched on

and all that i am
all that i was
what i wanted to be — becomes forgotten

perhaps, it’s fine
perhaps, i’m alright
perhaps, on to the next life

i will be reborn as me
just me and me alone

without the darkness, hatred, and emptiness
just me, me and me alone.

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