Skip to main content

The Place I Hate to Need

i hate hospitals
the stench of medicine, disinfectant and worry
it reminds me too much of something
it sometimes feels like death itself
something irreversible and irreparable
the home of grim reaper
a place filled with uneasiness and uncertainty
a place that everyone needs but isn't a home to no one
a place of sickness and sadness
i hate hospitals
they remind me of a distant view of something horrifying
a place I need to be in yet a place that i hate
i hate hospitals, i hate going to hospitals
i hate the doctors
i hate the nurses
helping yet tolling
understanding but not understanding
just people who do their jobs
the way one could feel so much pressure, ache and pain
yet carrying on with detachment and apathy
i hate consultations
i hate diagnosis
i hate everything
i hate searching for "why"
why why why why why why why why why why
the answers and solutions present but not quite
the place of sickness that affects the soul, the body, the heart
healing, rebuilding yet destroying
i hate hospitals
they make me ache
they make me moan
they make me cry
a place i don't want but stuck to live with
because deep down, i need the hospital
still,
i hate hospitals
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Champagne Flames and Crimson Roses

Lana Del Rey- Young and Beautiful Heavenly Father, if the road of life leads to heaven, let my lover pass through his beauty outshines this wicked world. His beauty glows, oh, it glows, like the last champagne light at the end of the party. His beauty endures as the world grows colder. And, Lord, let him be your angel, even if I am left to burn. His wings shadow the threshold of infinity. The smallest atoms of his being spill into me like holy wine, filling my soul with a redemption I will never deserve. His heart a crimson rose, opening, bleeding, a bloom that brings me to weeping. His hands, strong as steel, never rusting, yet they could shatter me like glass. And his kiss, oh Lord, his kiss burns my soul with the slow sweetness of damnation, as though my fate were already sealed in the fire that waits below. Such heavenly beauty drags me to the filthiest sins. His love, unending, makes me ache with unworthiness. like a moth unraveling in the flame, knowing I will perish, yet choosin...
Post a Comment
Read more

I Awoke from Morpheus

you glowed and bejeweled the moonflowers, poison filled with illusory hope and serenity. and we both embraced, and we both strangled each other. we burn— oh, we burn so brightly, dear one. and yet, we turned too bright, and thus, we cascade down. no valley of flowers, no iridescent moonlight. no light, no hope— we burned into ashes. there goes my Morpheus, and so shall I cease to be. maybe in another life, we could have been. yes, we could have been. once, the light of my life, now becoming no more than a mere shadow that existed yesterday. there you go, like a dandelion, twirling away like a false prophet to one’s dreams and wishes. if only you had known how fickle words could have been, as people grow— and outgrow them. and yet, we live on, tragically, with beauty and grace.
Post a Comment
Read more

Goat in Sheep’s Skin

I live my days in nuanced pathways going to and from what i expect myself to do, going back and forth within life, a contradicting pendulum that irrevocably pulls and fulfills me. at times, overwhelm pulls me and exhausts me, but i function, like i should in this society. but i am not a machine, i am not... however, i do what is expected of me. sometimes, thought washes over me of whether i am a person, like the person i once thought i should be. right now, i am simply exhausted. but i will wake up tomorrow and start over, because i have to, because i have to. am i normal, or do i practise normalcy? like a goat in sheep's skin, eating the same grass, walking the same pastures, and yet never really belonging, never attaching. i make no sense, do i? but yes, i function. i am functioning, just decently.
Post a Comment
Read more