Zozo's

Lana Del Rey- Young and Beautiful Heavenly Father, if the road of life leads to heaven, let my lover pass through his beauty outshines this wicked world. His beauty glows, oh, it glows, like the last champagne light at the end of the party. His beauty endures as the world grows colder. And, Lord, let him be your angel, even if I am left to burn. His wings shadow the threshold of infinity. The smallest atoms of his being spill into me like holy wine, filling my soul with a redemption I will never deserve. His heart a crimson rose, opening, bleeding, a bloom that brings me to weeping. His hands, strong as steel, never rusting, yet they could shatter me like glass. And his kiss, oh Lord, his kiss burns my soul with the slow sweetness of damnation, as though my fate were already sealed in the fire that waits below. Such heavenly beauty drags me to the filthiest sins. His love, unending, makes me ache with unworthiness. like a moth unraveling in the flame, knowing I will perish, yet choosin...

I live my days in nuanced pathways going to and from what i expect myself to do, going back and forth within life, a contradicting pendulum that irrevocably pulls and fulfills me. at times, overwhelm pulls me and exhausts me, but i function, like i should in this society. but i am not a machine, i am not... however, i do what is expected of me. sometimes, thought washes over me of whether i am a person, like the person i once thought i should be. right now, i am simply exhausted. but i will wake up tomorrow and start over, because i have to, because i have to. am i normal, or do i practise normalcy? like a goat in sheep's skin, eating the same grass, walking the same pastures, and yet never really belonging, never attaching. i make no sense, do i? but yes, i function. i am functioning, just decently.